Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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