The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
