3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
