Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize