Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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