I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
