Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
