Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize