Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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