Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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