I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize