pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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