Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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