did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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