My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
