I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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