So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
