Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
