Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
