While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
