I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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