I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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