check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
