I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she smelled like a LAN party
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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