He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
