I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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