I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize