I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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