South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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