But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize