The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
