I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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