See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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