dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
time to smoke my breakfast
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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