laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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