so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
