for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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