Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
