You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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