what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
