Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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