the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
