don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
