I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
