omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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