You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
