Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
