The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
