when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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