How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
