I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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