Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
