You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
