I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
pop tarts are not kleenex
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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