Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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