if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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