Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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