I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
