I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Enjoy the penises
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize