ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
