dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
