Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
