there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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