I heard we made out
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
