His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
