Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
