Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
