2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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