2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
