Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize